This is a thoughtful and kind discussion of the tensions involved in trying to be a good mother and in investing so much of yourself in resisting mainstream parenting methods. Andie Fox says:
Listening to her, parenting became a landscape dotted with irreversible consequences. One false move and you could inflict terrible damage upon your child or miss a vital course of action that would never return again. It was high stakes; a kind of parenting that must have required an exhausting amount of research, and I say that as someone who loves research.
It’s an easy trap to fall into, the feeling that your way is the one true way. And the feeling that if you don’t get it absolutely right, your kid will be ruined forever. I try to resist slipping into these anxious self-justifying judgements of other parents as much as I can. Because the self-righteous pursuit of perfection doesn’t help parent or child in the end. It makes everything impossibly high-stakes; and it cuts you off from the love and support of the people around you.