More on the oddness of looking at people’s lives through the Facebook mirror…
My hairdresser in Dunedin, who is a lovely man, didn’t reply to a message I sent him and while he wasn’t replying, he was posting a lot of cryptic updates on Facebook. “He’s sick,” I thought. But I didn’t feel like it would be okay to email out of the blue, asking him what, if anything, was wrong. It’s hard to know what’s appropriate when you’re in a Facebook relationship – or at least I find it so.
He finally emailed me last week and I was so glad to hear from him that I didn’t work through the implications of what he was saying. He told me he’d had surgery and was having weekly visits to the hospital, but didn’t say why. Denial is a wonderful thing and I thought of injury and rehab rather than the obvious cancer and chemo, and kept thinking that until Travis said, “that doesn’t sound good,” when I told him about the email.
And of course it doesn’t sound good and it isn’t. I emailed again apologising for my cluelessness and he replied last night. Yes, he has cancer and it doesn’t seem that the prognosis is good.
I’m so so sorry because he is, as I said, lovely, and life hasn’t been the easiest for him. He was getting it all on track only to be hit with this situation. It sucks.