This blog post from The Sydney Morning Herald gets at some of the contradictions inherent in parenting. The love and irritation, exhaustion and exaltation that are the lot of even the most conscientious and loving mother.
I’ve experienced a wider plethora of emotions since becoming a parent, than I have in any other role. I’ve never felt such pure frustration and intense anger as I have since becoming a parent. I didn’t realise a small being could push the biggest buttons and take me to the knife-edge of logical response. I’ve walked a tightrope between sleep deprivation and insanity, barely balancing.
I’ve also shared love like no other. My heart has melted into a pool of gush when I’ve held the tiniest little hand and thought, wow, we made that. Sharing a belly breaking cackle with my baby paints colour into my day. Watching a child master the art of pooing on the toilet has me behaving like some kind of screaming banshee, whooping and clapping like a moron. And more restrained smiles of pride and appreciation for a growing child who shows curiosity and compassion makes me ever grateful to be sharing this road with these children of mine.
Parenthood is not always glorious, and never glamorous. Some days it sucks like the sourest of lemons and my performance is a disastrous demise. Other days the sun shines out of my armpits.
I’m a different mother to what I’d imagined but my kids are loved and they know it. After all is said and done, that’s what counts.