All By Myself

Petra had her second solo morning at kindy today. I was allowed to drive away this time, so I came home to enjoy three hours to myself.

It’s so strange after three years of pretty much constant togetherness with Petra. I kept glancing around to see where she was. She usually stands and walks slightly behind me and to my right, disappearing into the blind spot my bag creates, so I have to turn my head to keep tabs on her. This morning she wasn’t there to keep tabs on and I felt like a piece of me was missing.

I also noticed myself worrying about whether she would have enough clothes on when she went outside and would eat enough, as if she wouldn’t be able to manage that stuff without me. The teachers have of course been wrangling groups of small children for years, decades in some cases, and don’t need me to tell them how to manage the logistics for one preschooler. And Petra is perfectly capable of deciding for herself whether she’s warm or not. I hope to have convinced myself of those things by tomorrow morning.

Oddness aside, I really did enjoy my time out. I read, drank tea, did washing, and got some homework done, all in unaccustomed silence. And silence is a rare and precious commodity when you live with an all-talking, all-singing, all-dancing preschooler.

I get to do it all again tomorrow morning, which is very exciting.

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