A Valedictory Post, Forbidding Mourning….

I began writing a retrospective on 2010 thinking that I would be remembering a difficult and stressful year. And sure, it had its moments. Financial stresses in the first half of the year were succeeded by the stresses attendant on having to make a move that I didn’t want to make and sell a house that I loved. And I’m still adjusting to life in Wellington. I never wanted to live in the ‘burbs, or deal with commuting, or not work. And here I am doing all of those things. I’ve also had to deal with painfully difficult family dramas, as well as mum’s ill-health.

But as I wrote, I came up with many good things about the year. Travis found the right job just when we needed it, and he enjoys the work and his colleagues. Even though I very much didn’t want to sell the house, I had fun making it beautiful for the open home. I enjoyed getting in touch with my inner major general and organising the crap out of everything and everyone. And the actual sale was wildly successful – we sold the house the day of the first open home for more money than I’d hoped for. So our first nervous venture into property ownership worked out well for us.

It’s not so easy to put a positive spin on family dramas. They hurt, however you look at them. But the family had good news as well. Mum’s been very ill for a couple of years with an obscure disease called amyloidosis. She’s had about a year of chemotherapy – the first set didn’t help, but the second combination of drugs has put her in remission. She should be restored to full health in about 12 months. It’ll take her kidneys that long to recover from the protein imbalance the disease causes. That’s such a dramatic turnaround that I still haven’t got my head round it. I was preparing for her early demise, but she’s suddenly looking forward to a completely restored life.

I lost a whole heap of weight and feel like something approaching my old self again. I’m proud of myself for being so disciplined. I enrolled in an online writing course and am having a great time with all the exercises. The tutor has been gratifyingly encouraging about the stuff I’ve submitted so far. Fear of sucking terribly has kept me from creative writing for years, so making an effort to write and to share what I’ve written is a huge liberating deal. And I’m getting used to Wellington. I still prefer Dunedin, but I’m ready to move forward into a new life here.

Now that I review the past year, it seems that it marks the end of one piece of my life and the beginning of something new. I’m in transition again. And while moving into the unknown is always a little daunting, the sense of possibility is also exciting and inspiring.

Here’s to the vagaries of 2010, and to the brave new world of 2011.

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