I’m still surprisingly unenthused about being here. I knew I wasn’t excited about the move and I knew that I desperately didn’t want to leave my house. But I figured that once I got here, I’d get interested, as I usually do when it comes to dealing with a challenge or something new. However, that’s not happening yet, or at least it’s only happening intermittently. Mostly I just feel stuck.
Part of it is the house. It’s absolutely fine for our needs – it’s warm, clean, and (just) big enough. But it’s a low-slung, modern box with nothing pretty about it. And we’re in the burbs. I never never wanted to live in suburban anywhere – Wellington, Vancouver, San Jose, Costa Rica, anywhere. I dislike the cheap bland housing and the fact that there’s no there there. If you want anything in the suburbs you have to drive.
Part of it is the 9 to 5 commuter lifestyle. Travis needs to leave home around 8 to make it to work on time and he doesn’t get home until just before 6. That’s a long day and I’m not used to it.
Part of it is not having anything in particular to do. Petra and I don’t know anyone yet, so we don’t have people to visit or places to go. We’ve been exploring the neighbourhood, finding playgrounds and toy stores as well as pretty much every bookshop between here and the airport. When the school term starts again, we’ll join playgroups, toy libraries and suss out a kindy. And we’ve got the public library, Te Papa, and the National Portrait Gallery in reserve. But these things don’t add up to a full day-to-day life for me.
The main thing of course, is how I feel about it all. Usually when I move, I’m filled with the excitement of discovery and exploration and I take all the changes and inconveniences in stride. This time, though, I’m not and I don’t. In the absence of that adventuring spirit, I’m not sure what I need to do to make life easier and more fun. I’ll figure it out I suppose.