You Know You’re a New Parent When…

You give your husband a hug and find yourself patting his back.

Adult heads look abnormally huge and ungainly because you've spent so much time holding and looking at the baby.

You are suddenly programmed not to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.

You have lively conversations about burping, farting, vomiting, and pooing with anyone who will listen.

Your breasts become strictly utilitarian objects.

Your last four google searches are:
1) how to make a baby burp
2) 4 week old baby vomit
3) 3 week old baby sleep patterns
4) newborn care

You send your husband an email with the subject line: "info about baby puke"

Amazon thinks you might like the following books:

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep

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10 Responses to You Know You’re a New Parent When…

  1. Luna Lunera says:

    *LOL*
    How is Petra doing?

  2. Janette says:

    Awesome. Sounds like it's going well! 🙂

  3. Roewan says:

    You made me laugh so much my cheeks hurt.

  4. Janette says:

    Petra is doing well. She's much bigger now because she's still eating like crazy. She has quite the defined personality and lets us know what she likes and doesn't like very clearly. But she's pretty placid and hardly cries at all.

  5. Janette says:

    Thanks! We're doing good. It's nerve wracking being responsible for a little person, but I'm totally besotted anyway.

  6. Janette says:

    🙂 I'm glad you were amused! This whole parenting thing is a bit surreal so I thought I'd share!

  7. Zotta says:

    Those "happiest _____ on the block" are actually very good books!

  8. Janette says:

    Thanks for the recommendation. I'll check the book out. There are so many baby books out there that picking the most helpful ones is really difficult. I'm relying on word of mouth and amazon recommendations so far.

  9. Zotta says:

    I read Happiest Toddler on the Block and found it enlightening!

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